Paralyzed With Shame by Lisa Brown




Beaming with a smile and tears in her eyes, she quietly whispers to me, “I found myself.”

I give her my full attention and she tells me that for years she had stopped doing the things that she used to love and now she feels once again a passion for it.

When she was a younger lady she had a fire in her bones to pray for others and visit the poor.  She loved prayer meetings and going into her quiet space to intercede.  She enjoyed serving in the food lines downtown.

Until one day she realized that a large part of her life was one big lie.  She bought into a life style that caused her great pain and darkness covered her up in sin.  Broken and abused by the lies of this world she felt unworthy to serve the Lord.

In time she received the Lord’s forgiveness and she changed her ways.  But this didn’t change how she felt about herself.

Her shame played a game with her mind and depression took over. 

Opportunities would come up for her to pray or feed the poor and she didn’t have it in her to do so.  She forgot who she was after years of ignoring her gift of prayer and mercy for others.

When her depression took over she found herself feeling angry almost all the time.   She got tired of blowing up at everybody and decided to get help.   In a counseling session her therapist helped her to see that she was rejecting herself.

At last my friend forgave herself and she let the desires of her heart come forth. 

I’m so glad that she shared this with me.  Deep down inside I have shame keeping me from being my real self.   I reject myself every time I don’t step up to the plate and do what I’m called to do because I think that being a mess up disqualifies me.

Anybody else there or been there?

I’m missing out on parts of my life that I have put on the shelf because of shame.  I’m determined to forgive myself, be nice to myself and let go of all those paralyzing lies.

Would you like to join me?

Let’s speak God’s truth into our hearts!!!     

We are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which He has prepared in advance for us to do through Him.   It’s time that we stop beating ourselves up for the past mistakes we have made.  God forgives us.  It’s time we forgive ourselves.

Following are scriptures for us to look up and meditate on.  May His word transform our hearts and renew our minds.

Ephesians 1:4-6 and Ephesians 2:4-10.          


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